Letting Go of the Baggage

Memories shade the sunshine, darkness takes over.

Your deceptive agenda, always using.

Love only when it fits your benefit. Hiding behind your mask.

Only wanted to make you proud, your heart deceives.

Eyes that dance, a child that didn’t understand. Wanting your love, support & acceptance.

Burying it all, putting it behind me. No more Hope’s for your time.

Can I say I will lose a lot? I can’t really say that I will, except for your toxicity! Negative comments or how I have not succeeded enough for your love.

YES!

I am a Single Mom, Yes I am Visually Impaired and am unable to drive. Yes eye glasses do not fix my vision! Yes I am an imperfect strong Woman! I accept me, my flaws and my strengths! I no longer need your approval! Because I accept ME! For me! Just as I am!

I love Me!

I also have a lot of love and support from my family and friends with a gun put on me, and fear took over to protect my daughter I realize you will never be anything but the sperm that created me! A dad would had supported and loved me, helped me leave my abusive husband not tell me to stay and tell me I am over dramatic, or tell me to drive and it’s in my head that something is wrong with my eyes to just put my glasses that doctors wanted to try even so they didn’t help and only makes my eyes worse and not focus. You have never truly known me or tried to!

The only person you ever worried about was yourself!  You shake your finger at me but who is really the coward.  You use women to get you what you want.  The only time you ever enter my life is when you are wanting to portray that you’re a good Dad and make  a pretty picture for your next victim.  I am thankful you left when I was 1!  I can’t imagine the kind of person I would be if you had a hand in raising me!  I can tell you I would not like that girl!  Shallow, Fake and Conceited!

The one thing I am thankful that you did was left!  You cut me down and always have!  I was never good enough for you!  Trying to hold up to expectations you gave me that are unrealistic.  You made me drive your 4-wheeler and when I wrecked it by hitting a tree because I DIDN”T SEE IT!  You made me feel horrible for hurting your priceless 4 wheeler, you never even asked me if I was ok.  I don’t hate you!  I Just won’t let you back into my life to bring me back down and make me feel useless!  You threw me away like trash when I left my abusive husband although you have been married  5 times!  not to mention countless girls that you cheated on them with and gave them all false hopes!   You disowned me for who I am!   I won’t apologize for my disabilities, for being myself because I am uniquely Me!  Flawed, Imperfect just like You!  No One is perfect, we are all different in our own ways!  That’s what is so beautiful about every single person.

I apologize for the rant to all my fellow readers!  However I had to get that out so I could put it behind me!  Let go and Move forward!

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend, I know that I will, since I got that burden off of me!

I wasn’t going to post this, however, I decided I am going to.  I am not perfect and I do not claim to be however Letting this man back into my life is just not something that would be healthy for me or my children!  Thank you all in advance for understanding and if offend anyone I do apologize this is only my opinion and emotions that I had to release to be a better and healthier me!

Lot’s of Love,

J Leigh

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12 thoughts on “Letting Go of the Baggage

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  1. When I worked with children a number of years ago, I quickly learnt that not every parent should be in a child’s life. It was a sobering reality because I came from a two parent home. It moved me when one of my young patients insightful said she was happy when her parents divorced. Parents don’t always know best but they can have a significant impact for the better or for the worse.

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  2. You are a strong and beautiful person, J.
    I don’t think people ever stop to think how their words and actions make others feel sometimes and when you’re going through health issues and other struggles, it hurts to not receive the support and love you need from those you expect it from the most (our parents, our friends, our family). I’m so sorry you had to endure such treatment from your dad, but I’m glad that you can look back with understanding eyes and heart. He shaped you in some way. Through his negativity, you learned to appreciate the positive and learned what real love and support looks like. I’ve learned this in life and I’m sure you are familiar with this saying: “How can I miss what I never had?”

    You let go of baggage that provided you no kind of benefit. Sometimes in life we have to do some pruning and sometimes what we detach ourselves from really didn’t bring anything positive to us. So… snip, snip! I’m very happy that you are strong enough to see how special and worthy you are of love, of support, of all the happiness life can bring. I wish nothing but the best for you, my friend. Stay awesome, J!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so very much for your encouraging words, and wisdom. You are so very right. I absolutely treasure our found friendship and I am so happy you are following your dreams,. I hope you all the best,, and do hope you keep me updated. You are a true Gem!
      Much Love ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You are so very welcome, J! I, too, treasure our friendship and I’m so blessed to have a met a great person as you. Thank you for the well wishes and your beautiful support, my friend! I will definitely keep you updated! Much love to you!!! 💚

        Liked by 1 person

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